Love That Lasts: How to Grow Together, Not Apart

In times when marriages are fragile, homes are restless, and hearts often run on empty, Maryam Lemu’s Live in Malaysia sessions reminded us of something profound— faith begins at home.

Over two days, audiences were taken on a journey through lessons of love, patience, and self-awareness. With her trademark warmth and honesty, Maryam reminded us that building a peaceful home isn’t about perfection, but intention. And our niyyah should always be to serve Allah (s.w.t.) through our relationships, choices and daily actions.

The word nikah is often wrapped in ideas of romance, compatibility, and affection. But as Maryam shared, marriage is not sustained by love alone.

Nikah is a sacred trust. A partnership built on respect, service, and conscious effort.

“Marriage is not just between two people. It’s a contract between you, your spouse, and Allah (s.w.t.).”

Many relationships falter not because love fades, but because intentionality does. We expect marriage to run on autopilot, forgetting that love must be nurtured through action, not assumption.

Maryam spoke about her own struggles. Moments of deep pain, conflict, and even thoughts of giving up. But in rediscovering the why behind her marriage, she found purpose again. When she asked herself, “Why would I want to be married to me?”, it shifted the focus from blame to self-accountability.

Because real growth in a marriage begins not when we point fingers, but when we open our hearts.

Maryam Lemu reminded us:

• A good marriage doesn’t happen by chance; it happens by choice. And the choice is to keep showing up in the relationship.
• Fights don’t destroy marriages. How we fight with our spouse does.
• The tongue is our biggest weapon, and mercy is the shield that protects the love we’ve built.

Each of us has a responsibility to nurture the home we share. If our homes are strong, our ummah will be too. The state of the ummah begins within the walls of our homes.

Maryam Lemu urged every couple to remember that their relationship is an act of worship. When we serve our spouse, fulfil our obligations, and cultivate peace, we are earning Allah’s (s.w.t.) pleasure.

And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.
(Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)

Citing Surah Ar-Rum, ayah 21, she reminded that Allah (s.w.t) placed love and mercy between spouses, but both must be protected and tended like a garden. Neglecting our roles or taking one another for granted is like leaving that garden untended, slowly letting weeds of resentment grow.

If you want peace in a relationship, you must fulfil your obligations to your spouse.

Marriage, in Maryam’s words, can either elevate or destroy us in this dunya and the akhirah. That is why marriage is the second most important decision a Muslim makes, after choosing their faith.

The second session of the weekend took a different tone, one that resonated deeply with women trying to do it all.

Maryam Lemu began by acknowledging the unspoken truth: many women are tired. Tired of being everything for everyone, tired of feeling guilty for saying no, tired of chasing expectations that never seem to end.

We live a busy life, but are not being productive, nor are we moving forward. But, we need to remember that in this world, there isn’t enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important things.

The modern Muslim woman juggles faith, family and career. Often, a woman feels like she must excel in everything, without faltering in any. But Maryam reminded us that balance is not about doing everything. It’s about choosing what truly matters, and doing it for the sake of Allah (s.w.t.).

Setting boundaries isn’t selfishness. It’s self-respect.

Saying no when your plate is full doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you value your energy, peace and your relationship with Allah (s.w.t.) enough to protect them.

Reflections:

• What are the 3 things that matter most to me?
• If I only had 6 months left to live, what would I do differently?
• What do I want to be remembered for when my name is mentioned?

These questions were not meant to spark guilt, but awareness. Because too often, we live life on autopilot, chasing the world but neglecting our souls.

True bravery lies in living with dignity and confidence as a Muslimah, unapologetically rooted in faith while thriving in this dunya.

One of the most powerful takeaways from both sessions was that faith must be planted intentionally. Children learn more from what they see than what they’re told.

If they see love, respect and gratitude between their parents, they’ll carry it forward.
If they see chaos, neglect and conflict, they’ll inherit that too.
We owe it to our children to unlearn what was toxic and broken and rebuild a better home for them.

Nurturing faith doesn’t happen by accident. It is a conscious effort to live in a way that makes our homes a reflection of Islam’s beauty.

Not only were our hearts full from the sessions, but so were our hands. The launch of Maryam Lemu’s new book, “Beyond the Label”, became one of the highlights of the event, quickly becoming a best-selling title at Tertib Publishing’s booth.

We extend our heartfelt gratitude to everyone who attended, supported, and brought her book home.

If you missed the event, you can still bring home its essence. “Beyond the Label” is now available at Tertib Publishing! A book that explores identity, faith, and how to live Islam with beauty and balance.

May her words continue to remind us that every home can be a sanctuary of love, mercy and barakah. And together, let’s begin our journey of building homes that please Allah (s.w.t.).