Love. A word so often romanticised, yet so deeply misunderstood. In a time when relationships are shaped by fleeting trends and filtered highlights, Mufti Menk’s talk at his recent event in Kuala Lumpur, “Mufti Menk Tells All: On Halal Love, Expectations & Realities”, feels like a breath of spiritual clarity.
He began with a bold reminder: the most important love story we must invest in is the one with Allah (s.w.t.).
“If you don’t have the love of Allah (s.w.t.), any other love will eventually be wasted.”
Love Begins with the Divine
Allah (s.w.t.) is the source of love. He created our hearts with the ability to love, and when we recognise Him as the Giver of that ability, our entire understanding of love transforms.
Mufti Menk explained that the love of Allah (s.w.t.) is unlike any other love. It’s the love that fills our spiritual void. It gives us strength, peace, and resilience when life doesn’t go our way. And when we love Allah (s.w.t.), it naturally reflects in our actions. We begin doing everything with the intention of pleasing Him.
Fear of Allah (s.w.t.) isn’t like the fear of harm or danger. It’s the fear that comes from deep love, like how you’d fear disappointing someone you love dearly.
Imagine loving someone so deeply that you never want to upset them. That’s the kind of fear and love we should strive to have for Allah (s.w.t.).
Halal Love Isn’t Perfect, But It Is Purposeful
Mufti Menk moved on to the topic many of us came seeking clarity on: halal love in relationships and marriage.
Our desire for companionship is natural. Allah (s.w.t.) created it within us. But when our quest for love becomes disconnected from our spiritual purpose, we risk heartbreak, disappointment, and imbalance.
Looking for love isn’t the problem. But chasing it at the expense of your relationship with Allah (s.w.t.) is. A halal love, such as marriage, will come with its challenges. It won’t always look like the romanticised versions we see online. But what makes it powerful is its foundation in sincerity, mutual respect and taqwa.
One thing we should always hold onto is not to justify emotional or verbal abuse in relationships under the guise of “Islamic values”. Islam never condones tyranny, especially not within marriage. Many people use their broken marriage to justify broken behaviour. But remember, marriage in Islam is a reflection of mercy, love, and accountability.
Love in All Its Forms
Love doesn’t just exist between husband and wife. There’s love for parents, love for children, love for friends, and most importantly, love for Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the ummah.
Mufti Menk also referred to a verse in Surah Al-Isra where Allah (s.w.t.) reminded us to honour our parents. Pleasing your father and mother is one of the most direct paths to gaining Allah’s (s.w.t.) pleasure.
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا (٢٣)
For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them even ‘ugh’, nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.
(Surah Al-Isra, 17:23)
Allah (s.w.t.) owns happiness. He owns all of our happiness. You will feel so much happier and fulfilled and be at peace with your life when your heart is aligned with Him.
Keep Talking to Allah (s.w.t.)
When life gets difficult or love feels far away, don’t stop praying. Don’t stop making du’a’.
But here’s a powerful shift to your mindset: don’t just make du’a’ because you’re desperate. Make du’a’ because you love speaking to Allah (s.w.t.).
Just like how we reach out to someone we love throughout the day, we should treat our conversations with Allah (s.w.t.) the same way. Frequent, intentional, and filled with sincerity.
May we all find our eternal halal love, amin.
